It's been five months

Ok, so it's been five months since I've posted anything on this blog. Let's just say I've been a little busy. I got engaged (to mr. goatee). We bought a house. I went to Norway for five weeks. And he moved us into our new house while I was gone. Not to mention that planning a wedding. As I sat on the back porch of our new house tonight with some old friends and a few new, we reminised over everything that has happened during the past year. A year ago I was so unsure of where i was or where I was headed and now it all seems so clear. I was so hesitant about committing myself to a relationship with Mr. Goatee and now I am committing the rest of my life to him. It's a blessing and I am excited about it. He makes me happy like no other person I've ever been with. But, there are times ... very rare times... when I wonder if things will every be the same as during my single life. I guess it's normal to feel that way when your wedding is only 4 months away. But "the pilot".. my ex... called me yesterday. Even though I missed his call and only received a message on my voicemail, my heart still jumped. Not tha tI'm in love with him because I'm not. It's just... that feeling.. a glimmer of excitement that I used to feel for him. True, things could have worked out differently. I had heard he still had feelings. But things didn't work out that way and I can just about guarantee that I would not be as happy if they did. It just makes me wonder. I love my life and where it is leading. Just how can I stop my heart from jumping when the ex calls? Will I call him back? I'm still undecided. I want to keep in contact with him but at the same time I feel like it would be easier if I just make one, final break from the pilot.. the one who inadvertantly convinced me to end it with Mr. Six years.. the one who, because I met him, eventually led me to my relationship with my fiancee. But then again, it's kind of nice to feel that jump when I get a message from out of the blue.